Teenage Erotika Club, DIRTBIKE

Best of 2010

1. Lili Refrain - '9'

2. Atrax Morgue - Sickness Report

3. Zola Jesus - the Spoils

4. SWANS - My Father Will Guide Me...

5. U.S. Christmas - Run Thick In The Night

6. Rorschach - Remain Sedate/Protestant

7. Bastard Noise - Rogue Astronaut

8. Place of Skulls - The Black Is Never Far/As A dog Returns

9. Christian Death - Only Theatre Of Pain

10. Xasthur - Portal Of Sorrow

11. Lesbian - Stratospheria Cubensis

12. Overmars - Affliction, Endocrine...Vertigo

13. Sissy Spacek - Gore Jet

14. Haarp - The Filth

15. Ulver - themes from William Blakes 'the marriage of heaven and hell'

16. Starkweather - This Sheltering Night

17. Sixx - Sister Devil

18. Morser - 1st Class Suicide

19. From Ashes Rise - (Discography)

20. Daughters - daughters

21. Mustafa Ozkent - genclik ile elele

22. Commit Suicide - Human Larvae

23. Atheist - Jupiter

24. King Tubby and The Aggrovators - Shalom Dub

25. Kayo Dot - Stained Glass

26. Insult - emobashingfastcorepimps

27. Kylesa - Spiral Shadow

28. Susumu Yokota - Symbol

29. Rikk Agnew - All By Myself

30. Venetian Snares - My So-Called Life

31. Ordo Equilibrio - The Triumph of Light..

32. Hunting Lodge -  Necropolis

33. Deathspell Omega - Paracletus

34. Deerhunter - Halcyon Digest

35. Crowbar - time heals nothing

36. Bathory - the Return.

37. Interpol - s/t

38. Amps For Christ - circuits

39. The Icarus Line - Black Lives...

40. HTRK - Marry Me Tonight

41.  Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross - Social Network soundtrack

42. Wires On Fire - s/t

43.  Telefon Tel Aviv - Immolate Yourself

44. Sunny Day Real Estate - Rising tide.

45. Foetus - (everything)

46. Steroid Maximus/Manorexia - (everything)

47. Skinny Puppy - Brap 4/5

48. Sick Of It All - based on a true story

49. Agnostic Front - victim in pain

50. Secret Chiefs 3 - satellite supersonic vol.1

51. Potop - Channels

52. Jawbox - for your own special sweetheart

53. melt banana - lite live ver 0.0

54. Milton Nascimento - clube de esquina

55. NAMANAX - Multi-Phase Dynamics

56. Negura Bunget -virstele pamintului

57. Neurosis - Live at Roadburn 2007

58. Gandhi - unreleased demo's

59. Helmet - Seeing Eye Dog

60. Poison The Well - The Tropic Rot

61. Snapcase - bright flashes

62. Lost Highway Soundtrack

63. JESU - Dethroned

64. Deftones - diamond eyes

65. Idiot Pilot - wolves.

66. Floor - box set

67. Torche.........................  etc

PLAYLIST 7/11/10 Thoroughly RECOMMENDED

Zola Jesus - The Spoils/Valusia/Stridulum/Stridulum II

Lili Refrain - 9

Enslaved - Axioma Ethica Odini

Capitalist Casualties - Subdivisions In Ruin / Years In Ruin

Cripple Bastards - Age Of Vandalism Box Set

CAN - Sacrilege

Cro-Mags - Alpha Omega

Circle Of Dead Children - Psalm Of The Grand Destroyer

Thou - Summit

Rorschach - Remain Sedate/Protestant

Crime - Piss On Your Turntable

Hunting Lodge - Necropolis

From Ashes Rise - Discography

LFO - Sheath ('Freak' from the opening titles of Enter The Void)

Milton Nascimento - Clube Da Esquina

Jello Biafra - With DOA/With NoMeansNo

Sun City Girls - You Are Never Alone...

Venetian Snares - My So-Called Life

ENVY - From Here To Eternity / Recitation

Leviathan - A Silhouette In Splinters

Drudkh - Blood In Our Wells/Estrangement

The Locust - Well I'll Be A Monkey's Uncle

Lost Highway Soundtrack

Giant's Chair - Red and Clear.

....

give up the dead chick, shes gone...Move on man...

....

give up the dead chick, shes gone...Move on man...

Catherine #3.... 1:40am 270mg Methadone, listening to Unsane, get writin'

Getting dumped while high is nauseating, you work so hard to make everything align.. maintain... and with the precision of a swiss made watch that cunt drops it on you. When you look back you can see the signs creeping up, like the weak pussy you are you've lied to yourself, ignored the blatantly obvious... with the one exception, she's dumping you to prove what a cunt she is. I panic! backtrack! back-track !! I act like a bigger cunt than she is!! and after an hour and a half of pleading, tears, more pleading she's back onside and even though we both now know what a big fucking charade its been.... the awkward lovebirds are back together and its 1am and I'm munching green pills like its going out of fashion, we hug each other ready for a repeat in a few days.

Its harder to justify each time, she's a beautiful girl with all the world ahead of her, I'm a fat fucking drug addict and the bruises on her back are a stark reminder that I am now probably amongst the men I swore to 'protect' her against. Sometimes these 'break ups' are a good way to seemingly skip back a while into more picture-postcard friendly times.

Around the age of five she was left in the care of a neighbour, A family friend, somehow it was months before her parents realised that he'd been raping her. Around the time of the legal action, the family was forced to move house and during this time her father lost her job. The drinking that had probably allowed her abuse to last so long unnoticed and pretty soon she became a tiny human punchbag, frequently kept home from school after he'd tried so hard to knock her through the wall.

She often spoke of her athleticism, and despite whole days vanishing from her memory due to the insanity of her drinking regime she had fucking great legs, tiny she may be but in another life maybe, an athlete. Christ I yearned for her star to rise somehow.. it sounds sappy and melodramatic but fuck it, the brain on her shoulders was the most frighteningly intense, sharp, infinite headfuck I had ever come into battle with. Whilst depression would be a light 'cover all' term for what made her tear the living fuck out of herself with the aggression of a pitbul tearing another's throat open, she could just as easily sit an explain to me the many reasons WHY she would do such extreme things to herself with the depth and clarity of a professor, even that is selling her short, her brilliant mind was constantly at odds with everything she was.

Her faith in me was unnerving, I just wanted to be unlike the people who had let her down, hurt her, worse, given her this route in life, I just wanted to 'look after' her, that's it.. the bottom line, before I knew the horrors of her past, I was a sap in love with this pretty young girl, I wanted the best for her.. I'm sure somehow I could do that, It took me a little while to realise that with her, with her It wouldn't be easy. Replacing Watchmen with Plath was cool, I dug that, she turned me on to so much great stuff, I realised how closed off I was simply because I was always so miserable at school, now not only was I reading my beloved Lovecraft with more voracity than ever, I was collecting books of his letters, Biographies of folks she recommended, to this day she gave me so much drive to be better, smarter... more fucked up!. The kindest thing, she gave me so much more self respect and drive, one thing I cannot help but thank her for.

The most troubling thing to me about the way her mind worked was her clinical understanding of everything that would happen at the depths of her depression, an hour before gouging and cutting deep into her arms and thighs, she would explain why it makes her feel good, its important role in relieving her (other) pain. Troubling because she knew how her mind was degenerating, troubling because she knew how everything would play out with her life, Her sharp, fierce, troubled and troubling mind was its own worst enemy. When an atheist in good health chooses to kill themself then in my mind at least they knew something I don't.

I despise smoking, always have - never smoked once, aside from pot and heroin, never tobacco, It grosses me out, Catherine shared a vice with her mother, they were both secret smokers, on several occasions I saw her smoke... and you know what? it was HOT. Something about my most despised of habits... gave me a boner, was it that she looked too young to smoke? was it that the illicit nature of it all.. for some reason it seemed like such a big deal but for all the reasons that weren't obvious, she looked so fucking hot, it was insane. I'd love her whatever, the fact of the matter was that her smoking once or twice wasn't really a big deal in the whole scheme of things. I even thought it was cute when she'd snort speed from the back of a cd case.

TOOTH Action / Mike Diana

The mention of Teeth puts me in mind of Mike Diana's 'Boiled Angel' If you can find a copy and have a troubled mind and

a complete lack of morals then I think you'll dig it. I bought my copy from Diana himself who thanked me for taking it out of

his house, he drew a great big penis creature on the inside... that blew me away, you may have spotted his work on the

Sleeve of the IRON MONKEY album "Our Problem", one of my ALL-TIME Favourite albums.

IRON MONKEY fans... before J.Morrow Died, the band were due to record their 3rd album with Steve Albini recording! bah!

I am putting together a Hideki Takayama Gallery on here soon, Concentrating mostly on the earlier Manga and I

Will Post Another with more recent stuff (Including Urotsukidoji and whatnot).